How the FIST Came About
Some time ago, there was an Audit, the Rig was expected to score 100%, or heads would roll. Money was no object, at least up to $3.50, and all the resources required would be made available to us, as long as they were already on the rig or could be hand carried by the next Expat coming through Murtala Mohammed Airport, without being caught.
I think some history is required to allow the reader to contextualise the loss of respect which occurred, if only in my delusional rantings.
The Company has a list of, shall we say, 'Prime Directives' which we as minions must adhere to, while management on the beach must be seen to adhere to.
'100% while still something to strive for was, perhaps, in the current climate a little ambitious, 80% would be an excellent result.' (and would ensure enough Brownie points for management to collect their annual bonuses.)
And so the race was on, which of the Prime Directives must go, when 100% is expecting too much and 80% is acceptable it is obviously not Fiscal Diligence. Can't get rid of that 20%, money is the bottom line, we cannot afford to lose the respect of the financial markets, ooh what would happen if our Standard and Poors or our Moody ratings take a hit, nope lets leave that one alone. Whats next? Indupitable Probity, ah shit if we get caught lieing to the Oil Companies or our Suppliers we would lose their respect, and possibly more importantly their business and our means to do business, I guess we had best keep this one as well.
Hmmm number 3, Respect I think we will come back to this one it appears to be mentioned in the previous two already, we appear to have some respect already. The financial people are happy we have reduced spending and the oil companies and suppliers have not caught us in any blatant lies, so lets move on to 4.
Security, damn we have to have it, we are an international company and some of the places we send our people to are not safe, some of the counties they work out of are almost as dangerous. No we need a good security record or the wimpy Oil Companies get scared of law suits. Got to have this one, it also allows us some respect for getting people to work 'difficult' conditions and allows us to screw a few dollars extra from the Oil Companies with no risk of losing respect.
Finally we have Technological Excellence, can we live with out this ? Er I think not we are pushing this quite heavily and with a Price premium attached to the New and Shinies we have dotted about, best keep this on the front page, it also garners a touch more respect for us if we can drill in places the competition can't, well at least until their new big and shinies come out.
Looks like we can lose the Respect, we get it with all the other planks of our Prime Directive and our mission statement is vague enough that losing Respect does not impact upon it.
So there it is
FIST on
I think some history is required to allow the reader to contextualise the loss of respect which occurred, if only in my delusional rantings.
The Company has a list of, shall we say, 'Prime Directives' which we as minions must adhere to, while management on the beach must be seen to adhere to.
- F - Fiscal Diligence
- I - Indupitable Probity
- R - Respect
- S - Security
- T - Technological Excellence
'100% while still something to strive for was, perhaps, in the current climate a little ambitious, 80% would be an excellent result.' (and would ensure enough Brownie points for management to collect their annual bonuses.)
And so the race was on, which of the Prime Directives must go, when 100% is expecting too much and 80% is acceptable it is obviously not Fiscal Diligence. Can't get rid of that 20%, money is the bottom line, we cannot afford to lose the respect of the financial markets, ooh what would happen if our Standard and Poors or our Moody ratings take a hit, nope lets leave that one alone. Whats next? Indupitable Probity, ah shit if we get caught lieing to the Oil Companies or our Suppliers we would lose their respect, and possibly more importantly their business and our means to do business, I guess we had best keep this one as well.
Hmmm number 3, Respect I think we will come back to this one it appears to be mentioned in the previous two already, we appear to have some respect already. The financial people are happy we have reduced spending and the oil companies and suppliers have not caught us in any blatant lies, so lets move on to 4.
Security, damn we have to have it, we are an international company and some of the places we send our people to are not safe, some of the counties they work out of are almost as dangerous. No we need a good security record or the wimpy Oil Companies get scared of law suits. Got to have this one, it also allows us some respect for getting people to work 'difficult' conditions and allows us to screw a few dollars extra from the Oil Companies with no risk of losing respect.
Finally we have Technological Excellence, can we live with out this ? Er I think not we are pushing this quite heavily and with a Price premium attached to the New and Shinies we have dotted about, best keep this on the front page, it also garners a touch more respect for us if we can drill in places the competition can't, well at least until their new big and shinies come out.
Looks like we can lose the Respect, we get it with all the other planks of our Prime Directive and our mission statement is vague enough that losing Respect does not impact upon it.
So there it is
- F. Fiscal Diligence
- I. Indupitable Probity
- S. Security
- T. Technological Excellence
FIST on
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